All very good points, especially the fact that a band (or a DJ) will only play a certain number of songs anyway, and there are only a certain number of songs that can be played/performed in a given time frame. And that a band can always provide uninterrupted music even during the breaks in the form of recorded music.

The key is good communication between the couple and the live music professional, and understanding the type of music desired and appropriate for the audience. In addition to play/set lists and no-play lists, as professionals, we typically will know what works and what does not in terms of music selections by the audience response.

My point when I mentioned ‘thousands of songs’ was that, while most live musicians/bands should be versatile enough to perform for several music types (ballads, R & B, jazz, pop, disco, etc…), a DJ will certainly have an unlimited variety of, albeit, recorded music. As you mention, communication and expectations are the key to a successful musical experience for all.

Great article! I especially like the chart you suggest - some real nuts and bolts about how to engage in the process. I manage a band called Memphis Train Revue, a 10-piece R&B band (www.MemphisTrainRevue.com) and we play weddings all over the country. You mention one thing that I find potentially misleading and that is the comment that the DJ can play thousands of songs while the band is much more limited. While this is certainly true, I think that brides need to keep in mind that over the span of 3 hours of music, a band (or DJ) will only play 36 - 48 songs. If you hire a band that plays the style of music that you like and you communicate with them ahead of time about the songs you want played and the songs you don’t want played, the total number of songs in the repertoire is largely irrelevant. So you like R&B and the DJ can play 400 country songs. So what? But if you hire an R&B band, they are likely to know more than enough songs to fill the time expertly. Also, bands take breaks and often provide recorded music or even a DJ as part of the package. So what the band can’t do live, you can still get during the breaks.

Sometimes I will perform the wedding ceremony music in one location at the venue, and quickly move to the second area where the cocktail hour is being held. I’ll set up (or already have set up the keyboard and sound system prior to the cocktail hour), and immediately and seamlessly play piano or do piano and vocals for the cocktail hour.

Then, if the couple desires live music for the reception, I’ll have my jazz group (duo, trio, quartet) already set up and ready to go for the first dance. Planning is so very important and critical to the success of the wedding day music.

Thanks,
Arnie Abrams

Send me an email at arnie@arnieabramspianist.com regarding your inquiry and I will try to answer your questions.

Arnie